Separation anxiety, in the context of losing a friendship, refers to the emotional distress and discomfort experienced when a meaningful friendship ends or significantly changes, even though the friend is still alive. This form of anxiety arises from the attachment and bond that had developed over time between friends.
A friend posted something recently about mourning the loss of relationships with people who are still alive. The loss of friendships with people that you were close to can hurt almost as much as when you lose someone to death. The energy and effort you put into that relationship, you become fearful of putting that same energy and effort into new people in the fear that they too may leave. I’ve struggled with this for years, but I’ve always heard that life is about taking risks. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to become more adventurous. I’ve taken a few more risks. I’ve opened myself up and that seems to have paid off.
One of those living losses (I’ve had several) popped up on my fb newsfeed not too long ago as someone that I may know, ironically around their birthday. The last time I saw that person was maybe 16 years ago, not too long after I lost my son Jonathan. They seemed happy to see me. Things were a little awkward but still friendly. They asked me how things were going, and I shared with them what happened, and this look came over their face. I could tell that it bothered them that I had gone through that and that they didn’t know, especially with all the things they knew about me and how close we had been.
I’ve learned that when people fall off or fall back, it’s to make room for new people. The people that you lost came with a purpose. A purpose that you may not have known and when that purpose has been fulfilled, room is made for the next person or people and their purposes. Sometimes we are lucky to gain people without losing people, but a lot of the time, that’s not the case. Sometimes, when God is about to elevate you, those people can’t come with you or maybe he’s about to elevate them, and you’ve served your purpose.
I still consider that person a friend and if I were to see them on the street, I know that it would feel as though no time has passed. It always felt like that. I still have mad love for them and always will. Regardless of how far our lives venture away from each other, that person and I will always be friends. I pray for their health, happiness, and God’s protection over them and their family. It’s important for you to pray for the people in your life, but also pray for those that are no longer in your life regardless of how the relationship ended. Your prayers for them may be a blessing in their assignment to fulfill their next purpose in someone else’s life.
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.